Well, I got old. I don't mind so much about age but how it feels is entirely unacceptable. What the hell, did I sit on my arse too long, not writing, not working, not doing anything useful at all except except exist? There's an art to it, if you must know, all that doing nothing. You absorb the sun, you turn your brain off and you huff when you think about things and push them away again.
I have a swing my brother bought for me a while back and it's a place where spiders hang out with me. Little ones. Babies, or maybe they'd just like you to think so when you discover walking across the brim of your glasses. They keep other from sitting next to me and disturbing my vacant sun absorption. I haven't used it lately because it was burried under the purgings of my house. Get it all out sort it dump it or store it. repeat. But yesterday I dusted it off and set it in the sun and held my hand over my eyes for quite a while. Who needs a hat when you are trying to rebuilt arm strength, pfff.
I did have some plants growing that I fiddled with. I swore that I'd eat the food that I produced but there's still 12 or so acorn squash in a bag waiting to be cut and stored and now it's time to plant more. Im impressed by their insistance to not rot.
Will it was recovery time. Sick of the world, sick of people, sick of working, keep my crouchy venem to myself recovery time. It lingers like an after taste sometimes but mostly it's gone now. Spring is here, the sun is out more, im garden giddy again, but my body does NOT like the manual labor and I end up walking stiffly with a bit of a hunch and when I realize it I stop and stretch and force a normal gait. I am not old yet, enough of that crap.
I've entered my silence stage. I visit when I must, talk when when spoken to and let people be and do what people be and so. My opinion is non of their business and I'd rather not have any opinions right now. I want to be. I am. The me in the sun behind the tall bush ignoring the neighbor with the music louder than his lawnmower. But good news, I have a new neighbor with a dog named Chunky Monkey and that is perfect. Stay chunky, monkey.
